Why hello there old friends. It's been nearly two weeks since my last entry. I don't think that's ever happened. Ever. My inactivity is but a testament to the volume of work that I have been putting up lately. I've been doled up in the Gingerbread Cave, doing boring, tedious Gingerbread research, even going 38 straight hours without sleep. Yes, it's a sad Gingerbread life. I am so out of the loop. The stress has rendered me a sunken, disheveled shell of my former self.While taking my ITB recovery one step at a time, good ol' GBM is relegated to finding a new hobby to take his mind off things. ANY hobby. I'm desperate. The search begins now....
The Competitive Drinker
Ranked #4 in Barangay Hulo In my solace, I considered visiting the hunting grounds of an old, familiar foil - beloved Internet Legend Tito Caloy. Equally renowned for both his longevity in pulling out 27k LSD's as with his propensity to obliterate entire Emperador bottles , he pitched me into entering his "realm", a place where there were no limits, where your mind could take you wherever you wished. As much as that sounded like my running dictum, a bottle of Johnny Walker Black in full view jolted me back into the absurdity of the situation.
Yum?Uncle Bob's Spartan Regimen
I was introduced by Tito Caloy to the undisputed champion drinker of his barangay, a luminary who goes by the monicker Uncle Bob. The current Philippine record holder in the 10 liter Wines/Spirits category, legend has it he once drank 2 kegs of Red Horse just for fun.Apparently, he would be grounding me into the wonderful world of competitive drinking.
Coach Teteng : How many bottles can you drink in one session?
GBM : I can drink 5 bottles max I think.
CT: Seriously? You drink like a girl.
GBM: Um, I'd like to think I drink more than a girl.
CT:You need more training! You're a disgrace to the family name! Your uncle is a tremendous drinker!
GBM: Ugh, I'd like to think that I don't really drink because I run and I...
CT: Oh whatever just drink this its good for you!
GBM: !!!!
Uncle Bob during warm-upUncle Bob told me to do a warm-up "lap" of 3 bottles of San Mig Light before proceeding to our training session. Listen newbie, I will be training you to be the best of the best. I hate mediocrity. Let's start with the secret of every competitive drinker's success - the LSD. LSD?? Yes, the LSD. Stands for Long Slow Drinking. As you aim to increase the tempo and intensity of your drinking sessions, you need to build your base tolerance first. Concentrate on adding more and more bottles per session to develop your BO2Max (Maximium Bottle Overload). Add base bottle mileage by at least 8% every week and you will be on your way to reaching the level of your uncle. Do you know that he has a pace of 2.4 bottles/min at Max LC (liver capacity)? Tremendous drinker. So many tambays here strive to be just like him, such an inspiration.
Either the "warm-up lap" got me drunk or I just really miss running that much , as I could have sworn that Uncle Bob was channeling beloved Takbo.ph mod Coach Pojie right then and there. Saddened at the mere thought of my erstwhile lifeblood, I thanked Uncle Bob for his time, told him it wasn't for me and while absorbing his stinging "you're a disgrace to your family" diatribe (he was on his 3rd Johnny Walker B. by this time), slowly found my way to the door.......
Running. How I miss it.
(sigh)
(to be continued)
i like your uncle! haha
very funny! can't wait for the next one in the series
Haha lol Eric :) He's the Philippine Record holder! We should show some respect! :P Thanks for stopping by man :)
Glad you liked it Wilson! Am still looking for better, more productive hobbies :P
Haha! Hmm, I guess Cindy aka drunkenlily (she isn't called that for nothing!) could pace you at the next LCLP :P
I see you are training for another ultra - ultramarathon drinking! You are in very capable hands of your Titos. By the way, you should start paying Tito Caloy talent or royalty fees :-)
ma-text nga si tito caloy... =D
Hahaha, this is good stuff! I'll wait for the continuation..
No offense intended, but maybe you do drink like a girl. And it's not something to be sad about. Buti nga yon eh. 6 bottles of beer to me is not enough to get me drunk, and I did this 2-3 times a week for the whole of July (kasi puro drinkers ang mga kaibigan ko eh, musicians). And I run 4 times a week, and bike twice a week, and do strength training twice a week (so some workouts overlap). :D It's actually manageable. It's also because I was trained under the Cooky Chua school of drinking since College. That woman can down 3 bottles of Emperador lapad on a normal day. 'Wag na pag-usapan yung "not normal" day..
But I'll still prefer to drink less.. gotta discipline myself on this. Wawa naman liver.
Tip: eat a lot and drink a lot of water prior to the drinking session. That is, if you can manage not to get caught. Because some drinkers will say, "Eating is cheating". Hahaha!
Cholle, hahaha yeah I guess she should live up to her nickname :P I need pacers, I am such a mediocre drinker :) My current pace is 0.5 bottles/min, very far from elite pace!
Haha Rico, I think that I pay for all his freakin races should suffice as his talent fee :P LOL :) This ultramarathon drinking session just ain't my thing!
Rod, baka magdemand nga ng royalty hahahha :) Either that or plain batukan lang ako. lolz :P
Woah Ria! You're an elite drinker! Maybe one day I can drop by this Cookie Chua school of drinking and learn a thing or two :P
At sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko....
Ay Johnny B...... :P :P
By the way, Luis, I suggest you try Monopoly, or chess. Possibly sudoku. If you need Cranium, I can lend my board to you. You can also volunteer to sort out my coin and stamp collections which I have not looked into since high school. Haha.
Happy hobby hunting. See you on the road soon!
Haha Cranium sounds like fun! :P Coin and stamp collections? Ewwwww :P :P
Laughing out Loud while reading this and even at the comments!!!
whoah!
cant beleive mga babae pa nagcomment na mas malakas silang uminom... lol!
Hehe Argow oo nga eh daig pa tayo ng mga gals! Nakakahiya! Kailangan nang mag LSD :P Hehehe :)
this got me thinking. hmm...
will the gingerbreadman be preparing for the much awaited, month long ultramarathon of.......
san miguels octoberfest. hehehe!:)
welcome six packs(of beer, whats an ab anyway?!)
welcome beer belly!
ziggy
Hahaahahaha very nice ZIg! Hmmm... I do believe that I would be initializing my 3 month program to prepare for the Octoberfest ultradrinkthon :P :P :P Thanks for stopping by man, glad to know your injury is better :)
hey man, your wits are incredible! i guess you're the only one who could mix your passion for running with any other interest, even that of which is championed by tito caloy! =)
and whoa! i'm surprised, i also drink like a girl?? hehehe
but seriously, i read in another article, not to drink more than 2 servings of alcoholic beverage 24 hours before any exercise session. over the prescribed may result to the 'burning' of acetyl in the blood, instead of calories, which ultimately results to over dehydration.
tell tito caloy this, and he'll sure pass next time, on either his drinking session or sunday long run. hehehe =)
Lolz thanks Jet glad you liked it buddy :P Seriously, I tried drinking the day before a run I just ended up puking on the road :) MOre LSD training? Haha :)
Don't feel bad, GBM! I'm not a heavy drinker myself. I think I can manage even less than your 5 bottles of SMB Lite.
So, I've decided to go for quality: a glass of scotch on the rocks na lang. Beer makes me full and sleepy...
Heheheh nice Myk :)We drink like girlie men! :P Scotch on the rocks is good! Tito Caloy approves! Thanks for dropping by man :)
bwhahahaah!!!! i love this, luis!!! :P great write!! :D soooo funny :D can't wait for part 2 :P
eire...walkersrun no more! :P hahaah!!
Thanks Doc Iris glad you like it :P I am still looking for more fun hobbies I can share with you guys. Congratulations on your near-walkless 10k! Yay! Walker's Run no more :P Wohoo!
I love this! I should check out your site weekly so I'll have my weekly laugh :)
Hmmm...drinking and running don't go together, I agree. (This coming from a UPLB alumnae. lol.)
Hobby that's perfect for you? Hmmm...cross stitching, origami, ikebana. lol!
Haiku!
Peace!
Haha nice MArga :) Glad you like it! It is my life's goal to entertain you guys through my work haha :)I agree, I'm just no good at drinking. I'll probably leave that to Tito Caloy :) Yeah check out my site weekly! Or every 3 days! Or daily! Hahahaha :D Thanks for the support as always :)